People and Culture

Should we get back with our ex-lovers after a breakup?

Should we get back with our ex-lovers after a breakup?It’s something many of us have thought about. Should we get back with our ex? If you’re considering getting back together after a break up, first take a look at the signs in this article.

When we breakup with someone, it’s not always for good. Maybe you’ve had friends who have broken up with their partners, only to return to them a few weeks, months or even years later. Or maybe a guy you were dating suddenly told you he was getting back with his ex. It happens in the movies, in soap operas and even sitcoms. Who can forget Ross and Rachel?!

Especially when we really loved someone and the breakup was mutual, those feelings still linger. As does the question, “Were we too hasty to end it when we did? Is there a chance we could get back together?” The first thing to know is that it’s totally possible to get back with your ex. It happens all the time. Sometimes, a breakup strengthens a relationship, so that it’s even better the second time around. Both partners have learned and grown, and are more ready to take this to the next level than ever before. However, should you consider getting back together after a break up? Let’s take a look at a few signs:

You Invested A Lot The First Time Around

If you guys had a red hot fling and weren’t even together that long, there is no good reason why you should get back together. If you were together a long time and invested a lot of your time, emotion and love? There is every reason you should give this a second chance. The rule of thumb is that, the longer you were both together as a couple, the greater the chance it will work out the second time around. Why? Because you’ve already given a lot to this relationship. Clearly, there was an emotional connection between the two of you. As long as you don’t hate each other’s guts, there is every chance that emotional connection is still there.

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You’ve Forgiven Them

If the reason you guys broke up is because they hurt you, you’ll need to genuinely forgive them before you can even think about getting back together after a break up.

Your Ex Is Open To Giving It Another Shot

If you have to work hard to convince your ex that you guys should give this another try, then you probably shouldn’t get back together. However, if your ex doesn’t need much convincing, it’s a sign that maybe it’s worth giving this a second chance.

The Breakup Was Mutual

When we get into our very first relationship, the idea that we might split up mutually seems so strange. Why on earth would we both peacefully decide to quit this? Surely relationships only end when one of us has our heart ripped apart? Not true.

Peaceful, amicable splits happen. Two people reach a decision that this just can’t continue right now, for a few reasons. Maybe one of them is going away for work, or maybe one of them wants a child now, while the other doesn’t. So ask yourself why you guys broke up. Was the split tactful? Or was there shouting, arguments and broken hearts? If it was the latter, there is a much less chance of you guys getting back together after a break up. You may find that history repeats itself.

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He’s Still Your Best Friend

If he’s still the one you confide in late at night about things, it’s a sign that you’re not willing to give them up just yet. He could even be your soulmate and you could well consider getting back together after a break up.

Being Alone Is Killing You

You’re lied in a cold bed all by yourself. You can’t stop thinking about them, wishing they were here, lying next to you. You miss them so much. You argued, but being with them was so much better than being alone. And it’s not even at night when you feel lonely. It’s in the morning when you wake up and have no one to share breakfast with, it’s in the evenings when you come home from work and have no one to talk to about your day, and it’s at the weekend when you have no one to laze around with. If you’re not yet thinking about a future relationship but are pining for your ex, it’s a strong sign that you should get back together.

The Issues Can Be Fixed

Some issues can’t be fixed. If yours are repairable, there is no reason not to give things another go and not to consider getting back together after a break up.

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You’re Seeing Each Other’s Point Of View

Maybe you broke up because your views on things had become incompatible. He was an adventurous person who wanted to go travelling and you didn’t. Or maybe you wanted to start a family and he didn’t. Now that some time has passed, you’ve each been won over to the other’s way of seeing things. You’re now more open to travelling, while he wants to start a family. This sort of thing happens during a breakup. We take some time out to reflect and begin to realise that, actually, the other person was right. If this has happened to you and your partner, you might want to give the relationship another chance.

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The Dating Scene Sucks

Sometimes, we just weren’t ready for a relationship. We were too young and immature, and needed to get a few things out of our system. And so we broke up with our partner to have some fun and see what else is out there. However, after a few weeks/months on the dating scene, we’ve come to realise that it totally sucks! The men just aren’t as handsome, as cute, as funny or as loving as the one we gave up. Moreover, each date is a total disaster. Is this really what we needed to get out of our system? If this sounds like you, you might decide that it’s time to get back together with your partner and settle down.

You’re Both Sorry

You both made mistakes the first time around. You hurt them and they hurt you. But you’ve both acknowledged your mistakes, forgiven them, and moved on. Apologising can be the first sign that you should get back with your ex. It’s always a good sign when your partner admits there were problems last time around, and is working hard to make sure they don’t happen again.


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